The Feeling of Something Coming

I sit by the window in my bedroom, listening to records and waiting for the rain.

There is something terrifying about a thunderstorm. Especially right before it starts. I hear the news reports--the baseball-sized hail, the 100mph wind, the flooding. I help my mom gather up candles and flashlights, crackers and water, blankets and shoes (just in case.) I make sure there is a clear path to the storm shelter while she brings in the dog. I take a deep breath because I've been dealing with storms for 21 years and it still gets to me. Still makes my heart beat faster.

Still, it can be so beautiful. The clouds above our heads swirl together, creating patterns that change as often as I blink. The sky is shades of grey and brown and green and the colors of the grass and the trees and even the asphalt seem to be so much more vivid and real. It gets darker outside and the streetlights come on early, giving the neighborhood an unusual, almost supernatural glow. The wind picks up and the trees sway and bend--a dance of foreboding. I look at the trees and understand that something is coming.

I open the window so that I can hear and smell the storm as well as see it. A gust of wind blows in, rustling the papers on my desk and bringing in the smell of rain about to fall. I shiver in the cool air, thinking about earlier when the sun was shining and I was sweating in the heat. The smell permeates my room, making everything smell fresh and clean. The world smells like it is getting ready to start over. Right now, thunder is rumbling in the distance, loud even over the music I've got playing. My record stops and in the sudden silence I realize that I can hear tornado sirens. It reminds me that even though it may not be storming here quite yet, somewhere out there the storm is showing it's power and possibly gathering strength. I feel a thrill.

I lay back on my bed and close my eyes. My heart is beating and there is a smile on my face as I lay still, hearing the first drops of rain begin to pound on the roof.